The first of April has ended and so does this hoax. I’ve left the original article intact for your amusement. Read more below.

Editor’s Note: As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve been swamped the past couple of weeks but I’m happy to share my work on this development has finally paid off. –Speed Bump

IFC, the Independent Film Channel, has signed a limited term contract to begin production of a new roller derby documentary/reality series. The series will be an IFC original production directed by Brutal Beauty producer/director Chip Mabry and will be based in Portland, Oregon.

Says IFC Spokesman Anton Levitz, “Roller Derby is a hot subject these days. Several of our producers have been watching the movement develop for years and Mabry’s film has proven that it doesn’t just play out well as a sport, the passion and emotions are carried to the screen. We’re excited to take that story beyond the seeds that Whip It planted in the American audience and show what these skaters really endure on and off the track.”

Brutal Beauty inspired IFC to move forward with a new series about roller derby.

“Brutal Beauty: Tales of the Rose City Rollers,” released in early 2010, follows Portland’s Rose City Rollers telling the story of the women who participate in modern roller derby and their ambitions & struggles in competition. The film has received accolades on its tour of American film festivals and has received high praises from film critics around the country (see their reviews).

But IFC’s latest project, Brutal Beauty, Whip It, and the number of independent films & projects documenting modern roller derby aren’t new to the market by any means. In 2006 A&E Network produced the reality show “Rollergirls” following Austin, Texas’ Lonestar Rollergirls. The show’s 13-episode run was cancelled just shy of 4 months into airing due to low ratings. Now five years later another cable-based network is hoping to make a go with a similar project. What makes IFC think a roller derby documentary series will work this time around?

“The roller derby market has seen explosive growth in the past five years,” Levitz says, “The grassroots movement of flat track roller derby has brought the sport to more people around the world and the popularity isn’t just limited to those who participate. The “Rollergirls” series was premature in its attempt to reach viewers who just weren’t ready for roller derby and the audience didn’t develop. We can confidently says that these days an audience exists and the behind-the-scenes of roller derby is ready for another chance at television distribution. Plus Portland, Oregon has achieved national interest for its arts and lifestyles attractions so to find a thriving derby scene and a great director all in a place with national recognition, it was like kismet.”

But despite that audience, Brutal Beauty and other films chronicling modern roller derby have yet to see major underwriting or distribution. Roller derby still isn’t accepted into the mainstream sports culture and the major television & sports networks aren’t airing coverage of the sport.

“We learned a lot about roller derby and its perception on tour with Brutal Beauty,” Mabry said, when asked about how he plans to make this latest project survive in a market that has yet to embrace modern roller derby. “People want to see roller derby. They’re really interested and excited about it. But there are a bunch of roadblocks for anyone trying to get into it. So we’re trying something new with IFC and we think the largest hurdle for roller derby mainstream acceptance has been overcome.”

That hurdle? It’s not the erratic schedule or hard-to-find bout tickets most derby clubs offer through poor marketing. It’s not the fast pace of play or extreme difference in mechanics from most mainstream “ball” sports. In fact, it’s not even the overly complex rule set or the amount of impact officials have on gameplay. The real roadblock for most potential fans? Mabry says it’s the characters.

“Rollergirls and Brutal Beauty are both great documentaries in their own right,” Levitz says, “and there are a lot of differences between the two projects and subject matter. But when it comes down to it, there was one common denominator that audiences couldn’t embrace. We asked what we could change and Chip [Mabry] seemed to put his finger right on the issue.”

“I think it’s the brutality,” Mabry posited in response about his plans for character development. “The American audience seems gung-ho about watching roller derby and the spirit and the empowerment and the outfits. But once they see that girl laying on the ground in pain with a broke [sic] ankle or their daughter hauled off the track in a stretcher, that mood changes. The characters- the subjects- are fantastic, but the audience feels too much pain for them.”

The solution? Rose City Rollers wont be the primary focus of IFC & Mabry’s new project. This time they’re turning the lens on Portland’s other roller derby league: Portland Men’s Roller Derby.

“Audiences want to see roller derby and they want to see brutality,” Levitz comments on the new angle, “but they want to see it the same way they’ve been watching it since the dawn of mankind- the brutality we’re genetically programmed to appreciate.”

“It’s different with the guys,” Mabry says, “You watch some big guy get knocked across the room and it gets your blood going. Nobody’s maternal instinct kicks in and nobody cares whether he’ll get up from the fall. It’s like gladiators in the Coliseum- if he bleeds, so much the better. The audience loves it.”

Portland Men’s Roller Derby is a recent addition to the growing movement of male roller derby. They’re faced with many challenges as they work to build a strong core of competitive skaters while simultaneously working to gain entry into the Men’s Derby Coalition. Meanwhile, according to IFC, the Portland men’s league faces obstacles to their growth such as sexism from women’s derby supporters and conflicts with the local women’s derby organization (RCR).

“The American audience is used to seeing guys compete in sports,” Mabry says, “and we’re gonna [sic] offer plenty of that. But we’re still holding true to our documentary roots and building on what we saw in Brutal Beauty. These guys work hard and they get emotional just like the women and we think we’re going to bring that to the surface- that emotional depth of a male athlete that audiences don’t get to see in mainstream sports.”

“We needed a new angle,” says Levitz, “without losing the spirit of the sport of roller derby. We also needed something that would sell and so far women’s derby hasn’t done that. After seeing Brutal Beauty we weren’t sure it could fly but once we caught a glimpse of This is How I Roll, we knew we had our product.”

The project- tentatively titled “Rollerguys”- is still in early pre-production stages but an agreement has been struck between IFC and Portland Men’s Roller Derby. Filming is slated to begin in early May 2011.

“We welcome this project to the family of IFC Original Series,” Levitz says. “In addition to the recent, wildly popular Portlandia also filmed on location in Portland, we think our audience will find what they’ve come to expect of IFC programming in Rollerguys. We think that fans who enjoyed The Henry Rollins Show, Z Rock, and The Whitest Kids U’ Know will find a similar appreciation for the the testosterone fueled, man-on-man action and emotion of Rollerguys.”

“I’m pretty happy with the decision to go with guy’s derby,” Mayberry adds. “Even if it doesn’t fly on IFC and doesn’t reach the general sports audience, I’m pretty sure I know a few other markets that might go for this kind of thing.” Chip refused to make further comment on where he might sell a show about sweaty, grunting men being physical with each other.

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There is no “Rollerguys” or new documentary reality show in production. Independent Film Channel and Chip Mabry had nothing to do with this article, though I did receive a call from Chip later in the day and he claims he was on a call with the producer of Portlandia when he found out about this story. Hold your hate mail for Anton Levitz, he doesn’t exist.

I’m happy to see some of the ideas (mostly worst case perceptions) presented in this prank were received with the eye rolls and/or fury they deserve. Though I gotta admit, some of the story here is uncomfortably plausible.

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you check out the real documentaries and shows referenced in the article. Most notably Brutal Beauty and How I Roll, but Rollergirls and Portlandia are both decent entertainment.