Author’s Note: While official WFTDA rankings for Q3 2010 have not yet been published, your not-so-humble announcer has taken it upon himself to rank teams mentioned in this article in the spot at which they finished their respective post-season tournaments.
This article was originally prepared as a preview and list of predictions for all 17 bouts for this weekend’s roller derby action in the heartland of Lincoln, Nebraska. I need to thank one Jim “Koolaid” Jones the next time I see him, because as I was finishing up preparing this article, his was posted. After reading through, I must declared, in at least a few spots, Koolaid, good sir, I respectfully disagree with your call.
Based on his article, I believe that Koolaid and I would likely agree on the probable outcomes of the first two bouts in the tournament, discussed as follows:
Bout 1 – No Coast Derby Girls vs. Hard Knox Roller Girls: Your not-so-humble announcer got to see Hard Knox at the Rocket City Rumble, hosted by the Dixie Derby Girls, and was impressed. They certainly didn’t seem like a team that should be seeded outside of the Top 10 in the South Central. Low and behold, much of the rest of the region agreed with me, and voted them to ninth place, just in time to be invited to the tournament. As their reward, they get to face another up-and-coming team with the host league’s all stars, the Mad Maxines. The Mad Maxines have played two ridiculously-close bouts with the Tampa Bay Derby Darlins at last year’s Regionals, and March of this year at the Clover Cup, but fell short at the end of those bouts. That will not happen with this bout, as the Mad Maxines will bring home the win to get the home crowd happy right off the bat. WINNER: No Coast.
Bout 2 – Houston Roller Derby vs. Memphis Roller Derby: Memphis rolls into Lincoln not having skated a sanctioned bout since the consolation bout of the Rocket City Rumble, during which they blew the doors off of Dixie by over 100 points. However, their own doors were blown off in 2010 by rising league Naptown and SC mainstay Nashville. Hard Knox finally overcame Memphis in the opening bout at the Rocket City Rumble, hanging on to win by two points. Houston may finally be growing into their newer, younger roster, after being trounced by the following teams this season: Dallas (multiple times), Steel City, Madison, and a Brew City team that stumbled at Thunda on the Tundra in September. At first glance, I figured this one for Houston, but upon further review, this one might not be a complete rout. **WINNER: Houston. **
Our next bout is the first spot where things get a little bit adversarial…
Bout 3 – Dallas Derby Devils vs. Nashville Rollergirls: Fans will be treated to another first-time-ever matchup with this bout. Nashville started out strong in 2010, finally getting over the Atlanta hump, and running off several victories before injuries and defections finally caught up with them around the time of East Coast Derby Extravaganza. Similarly, Dallas started out strong in 2010, finally getting the Houston monkey off of their collective backs. In March, however, they were defeated twice in two days by Atlanta at the Clover Cup. The Hell Razors lost in the final jam by a mere two points to Cincinnati at Franky Panky in April. Finally, Dallas suffered another last-jam loss to Tampa Bay at Rocket City Rumble in July. Dallas recently traveled to Hawaii to take on Pacific Roller Derby, taking away a win with what may have been a smaller-than-normal roster. Also to their credit, they managed to beat a Minnesota Rollergirls team that, a month-and-a-half later, shocked the derby world by finishing second at Thunda on the Tundra. I find that to be the deciding factor here. WINNER: Dallas.
Bout 4 – Kansas City Roller Warriors vs. Tampa Bay Derby Darlins: **In an interesting twist of fate, the second bout of the quarterfinals is a rematch from last year’s quarterfinals, during which the Roller Warriors nearly broke 200 points in defeating the Tantrums by 121 points. The Roller Warriors face an improved Tantrums roster this year. Despite the loss of Tampa Bay mainstay Madame Battle Axe, the Tantrums bring new additions Ram Em Noodle, transfer-from-Memphis Muse of Bruise, and Kitty Danger to some of the old familiar faces. While their won-loss record in 2010 may not reflect it, Tampa played some impressive derby when they had their heads on straight and didn’t let the other team take them off of their game plan. At East Coast Derby Extravaganza, Tampa played one of the smartest bouts your not-so-humble announcer had ever seen them play before mentally collapsing in the final two jams and allowing Minnesota to come from behind to win by a mere 2 points (The same team that took down Detroit and Madison at Thunda on the Tundra and will be going to Uproar on the Lakeshore as the 2 seed out of the North Central Region). Sure, Tampa was clobbered by Montreal the next day – but feel free to ask Dutchland and Providence what that’s like, as the New Skids on the Block scored over 270 points against each opponent at Derby in the Burbs; Tampa “held” the New Skids to under 200. At BrewHaha, a late Tampa rally against Arch Rival never quite made it to completion when time ran out and Arch Rival escaped with a win by 5 points. Kansas City may claims more victories so far in 2010, but they started with a stumble, narrowly avoiding a loss to Omaha and then losing to second-seeded Atlanta. Kansas City comes into Lincoln having gone 3-and-3 in their last six bouts – beating Arch Rival (10th in North Central) by 40 points (noting that North Central team Naptown beat Arch Rival by 48 points barely a month ago), Cincinnati (4th in North Central), and DC (10th in the East), while losing to Philly (2nd in the East), Detroit (5th in North Central), and Charm City (4th in the East). While it’s true that Kansas City holds victories over at least two teams to which Tampa Bay lost in 2010, the Tantrums come in having won two of their last three WFTDA Sanctioned bouts (all of which happened on the same day!). The Tantrums would love nothing more than to make it to Uproar on the Lakeshore – and they’ll need to beat Kansas City to accomplish that feat. Call me a homer, but after seeing Bay Area Derby shock the world by upending third-seeded Denver in the quarterfinals last weekend, I’m calling the upset. **WINNER: Tampa Bay.
Bout 5 – Texas Rollergirls vs. No Coast Derby Girls: As a reward for their win to start the tournament, the host league’s Mad Maxines get to run into the Texecutioners. Barring their one-point loss to Kansas City back in July 2008 (when WFTDA had only two regions), the Texecutioners have still never lost to a team from the South Central. This team has not had the results of previous teams, losing in the regular season to Oly, Denver, Rocky Mountain, Rat City, and even Charm City in 2010. While looking more vulnerable than any other Texecutioner team we’ve seen in years (possibly due to derby dominance from the Western teams they’ve faced), No Coast needs to look no further than the DVD of Texas’s bout against Nashville at last year’s Regionals to see how this will go. WINNER: Texas.
Some people are Macs. Some people are PCs. Koolaid may be a Kansas City Roller Warriors person. Me? I’m an Atlanta Rollergirls person, myself.
Bout 6 – Atlanta Rollergirls vs. Houston Roller Derby: After a stumble at Nashville to start off 2010, the Atlanta Rollergirls came roaring back to take the 2nd seed in South Central. While Koolaid focuses on strength of schedule and veteran leadership with the Roller Warriors, I see the same things in the Dirty South Derby Girls. With an 11-and-2 record for 2010 so far, the Dirty South Derby Girls claim wins over playoff teams including No Coast, Kansas City, Hard Knox, Tampa Bay, Arch Rival, Carolina, Providence, and two wins in two days over Dallas in Fort Worth. Atlanta won both the Clover Cup and the Rocket City Rumble (AGAIN!) this year. Veterans Amelia Scareheart, the Merchant of Menace, Queen Loseyateefa, and future-Mayor-of-Atlanta Demi Gore lead a WFTDA 20 that, with maybe 4 exceptions, have no less than three years of experience skating derby. Unfortunately for Houston, an inexperienced HaRD Knocks team will get to experience just how well Atlanta has put it together this season in this bout. WINNER: Atlanta.
Bout 7 – Hard Knox Roller Girls vs. Kansas City Roller Warriors: Hard Knox is making their way up in the rankings. However, they get to face an angry Roller Warriors team, upset about being upset by Tampa Bay (to say nothing of being former WFTDA Champions). The growing pains and learning experience for Hard Knox will continue with this bout, as Kansas City will be looking to take out their frustrations on the ladies from Knoxville. WINNER: Kansas City.
Bout 8 – Memphis Roller Derby vs. Nashville Rollergirls: These two teams have faced off at the Honky Tonk Stomp, a round-robin Tennessee tournament, this year and last year. In this case, don’t believe what your stockbroker says; past performance is indicative of future results. WINNER: Nashville.
Bout 9 – Texas Rollergirls vs. Dallas Derby Devils: For the numerologists out there, here are some numbers for you: 157, 288, 269, 126, 133, 174. Those numbers represent (in order) the fewest points that Texas has scored in its last four bouts against Dallas, the most points that Texas has scored in its last four bouts against Dallas, and the Texecutioners’ margin of victory in each of their last four bouts against the Hell Razors. Any questions? WINNER: Texas.
Bout 10 – Tampa Bay Derby Darlins vs. Atlanta Rollergirls: It’s The Rematch Three Months in the Making (of The Rematch Two Years In The Making Before That). The Dirty South Derby Girls got to take on a Tantrums team that was skating in its third bout of the day, after having ridden in vans for several hours on the previous day. While Tampa hung in for a portion of the first half, exhaustion took its toll and Atlanta rode that to a dominating win, as well it should have. This time around, the Tantrums will only have one bout (and a full night’s rest) under their collective belts before taking on Atlanta. While this should make for a much more competitive bout, your not-so-humble announcer cannot get past that momentum of the 11-and-2 record that Atlanta sports coming into Lincoln. It pains me to concede that the Dirty South should still come away with a clean win in this semi-final bout. WINNER: Atlanta.
Bout 11 – No Coast Derby Girls vs. Nashville Rollergirls: No Coast comes into this bout, having beaten an up-and-coming Hard Knox team, but then skating straight into the Texas buzzsaw. Nashville comes into this bout having lost what should’ve been a competitive bout with Dallas. While Nashville may have skated most of their bouts at home in 2010 (8 of 12, per Flat Track Stats), they’re currently 1-and-3 on the road for 2010. If we look at previous results against a common South Central opponent (Tampa Bay), we can see that No Coast is currently 0-and-2 against Tampa Bay, while Nashville is currently 2-and-1 against the Tantrums. This, combined with Nashville’s early-season win over Atlanta, suggests to me that Nashville might just be able to overcome the home crowd and take the win in this bout. WINNER: Nashville.
Bout 12 – Kansas City Roller Warriors vs. Houston Roller Derby: Saturday night’s final bout places a Roller Warriors team skating their third bout of the weekend against an opponent skating its third bout of the weekend but their first bout of Saturday. This will be a Houston team that Kansas City soundly defeated by 62 points at last year’s regionals. The Houston team that the Roller Warriors defeated at the Southern Fried Smackdown had a little more veteran experience than the team they will face in this bout. And that smells like the sweet scent of victory for the Roller Warriors in the evening. WINNER: Kansas City.
Bout 13 – Ninth-Place Bout: Hard Knox Roller Girls vs. Memphis Roller Derby: Sunday’s first bout starts to finalize our rankings in the South Central. These two teams will be the only teams that are 0-and-2 for the weekend at this point, and playing for pride. This is a situation during which the teams have played each other so often, they know the birthdays for their opponents’ children. Looking later in this season (and closer to this tournament), Hard Knox twice got the Memphis monkey off of their collective backs by defeating them at the Honky Tonk Stomp and Rocket City Rumble. Hard Knox making a late push to get into the Top 10 is not a fluke, and I think they may show it by coming away with a victory here. WINNER: Hard Knox.
Bout 14 – Seventh-Place Bout: No Coast Derby Girls vs. Houston Roller Derby: Host league No Coast finds itself in the Seventh-Place Bout in 2010 – exactly where it ended its tournament run last year. Last September in Atlanta, they took on a Tampa Bay team in a bout riddled with penalties, and showed how closely matched they were with the Tantrums before Tampa hung on to win. This time around, with home court advantage, might be just enough to get them over the hump and to move them up to 7th in the rankings. WINNER: No Coast.
Bout 15 – Fifth-Place Bout: Kansas City Roller Warriors vs. Nashville Rollergirls: This almost reminds me a bit of the Denver vs. Rat City fifth-place bout that we were treated to last weekend at Rollin’ on the River. Nashville sits in the SC Rankings at 5th – just like Rat City did. Kansas City enters this weekend at 3rd – just like Denver did. To your not-so-humble announcer, part of the difficulty in predicting the outcome of this bout includes determining which factor looms larger: Kansas City’s early-season stumble (contrasted with the later-in-the-season return of The Rollergirl Formerly Known As Snot Rocket) or Nasvhille’s early 2010 start at home (contrasted with their later-in-the-season stumbles). I can’t help but question just how effective Nashville is on the road, while we know that Kansas City can win on the road. Let’s call that the deciding factor, shall we? WINNER: Kansas City.
Bout 16 – Third-Place Bout: Dallas Derby Devils vs. Tampa Bay Derby Darlins: These teams have played each other so often in the past two years, they can probably tell you their opponents’ social security numbers. Dallas led the all-time series 4-and-0 before the Rocket City Rumble, when a Hell Razor team (skating its first bout of the day) lost in the final jam to a Tantrums team (skating its second bout of the day). In their first two bouts in 2010, Tampa hung with the Hell Razors for a half, before Dallas’ punishing front wall defense and mental mistakes by the Tantrums allowed Dallas to win. Franky Panky in April exposed the vulnerabilities in the Hell Razors’ armor, as the Hell Razors hung on against a monster Tantrums second-half comeback. The Tantrums have been improving little-by-little and correcting some of their mental mistakes since then. After Tampa’s last-jam triumph over Dallas at Rocket City Rumble, the Tantrums finally know they can beat the Hell Razors. Expect this bout to go down to the wire, between two teams with absolutely no love lost between them… but your not-so-humble announcer predicts that Dallas will, once again, get stuck ending the tournament as the fourth seed while their opponents go to Championships. WINNER: Tampa Bay.
Bout 17 – Championship Bout: Texas Rollergirls vs. Atlanta Rollergirls: Texas remains the class of the South Central, though your not-so-humble announcer has previously discussed being slightly more vulnerable than in year’s past. Atlanta has finally turned the corner in 2010 and has torn off an 11-and-2 record, losing only to Cincinnati and Nashville; the Dirty South Derby Girls will face neither team during this tournament. Quality of opponents probably go to Texas; while both teams have faced playoff teams, the Texecutioners are the team that have faced off against at least three teams who will be going to Championships at Uproar on the Lakeshore. The prior head-to-head record also favors Texas, though Texas has previously faced less-talented Atlanta teams in years gone by. While this will likely be a much-closer bout than previous Texas-Atlanta meetings, I still see the ladies from Austin taking their third consecutive regional championship. WINNER AND SOUTH CENTRAL REGIONAL CHAMPION: Texas.